Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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