You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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