I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
