If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
