he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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