i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
so much tequila, so little girl.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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