even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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