I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
