If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
