he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
