I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
