I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
