we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
