okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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