Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
