Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
