11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
