she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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