Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
