shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
