left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
