u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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