ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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