My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Pants are for mortals
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
