I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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