Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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