My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
