i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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