Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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