This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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