You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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