I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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