dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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