It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
