And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
