yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
