I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
