end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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