I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
