Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
