they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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