I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
