thus making me awesome and them whores
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
