I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
