apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i've created a new STD.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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