I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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