Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize