sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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