Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
