I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
