this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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