That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't deserve a penis
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
