Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
