dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
