I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
