next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
