Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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