Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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